WAP - Why is a world that claims to be so progressive so heavily shocked by two women's sexual nature?

 WAP, a song and music video by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion caused great controversy when it was released in August 2020. Socio-political commentator Adam Gardner-Walton takes a look to find out why.

Why are these "Certified freaks" causing controversy "Seven days a week"?

Why in 2020 are we so obsessed?

Does anyone fancy going bowling next Tuesday evening? I booked for 6 people but now my friends have cancelled on me and I'm not allowed a refund. It's for 2 games as well so it wasn't super cheap. It's at Hollywood Bowl in Centertainment. It's really easy to get to and each game should take about twenty minutes, starting at 18:00.

Why did WAP specifically rile up right-wingers and republicans such as Ben Shapiro?

There's even a bar. You can order by touch-pad on your lane and the drinks are brought to you. It's like having your own butler. I got the two games for a really great deal but now I have to fork out for them on my own it's quite expensive. I'm not expecting you to pay for it, I'd just rather not have two lanes to myself while everyone else looks at me like I'm some lunatic. It's not even like they'd assume I'm just practising for some competition because if I'm honest I'm terrible at bowling. I just love the atmosphere. You can just get the yellow tram from town centre and it drops you off right behind Hollywood Bowl.

   Female cats tear off the skin of animals. Why does it bother us when female humans show their own?

My Neck, My Back was released in 2002, so why is this particular song causing such outcry?

They have an amazing arcade as well that we can use after the two games (£82.50) are over. They have change machines so you literally just need to bring your debit card. You can even wear your own shoes on the lanes now, you don't need to wear those red/blue ones they used to give you at reception. If interested just give me a message. Check the Hollywood Bowl website to get an idea of what it's like. Spoiler: it's awesome. We can get food after.

To conclude: Is a world driven by sex and powerful, republican white men in itself a paradox? If men love sex so much, why do they cower at the sight of women also enjoying it?

www.hollywoodbowl.co.uk

Illiterate racist thinks 'Tesco’s BLT sandwich is PC culture gone mad'

Angry Protesters Defend Statues From Police Who Are Also There To Defend The Statues From People Who Largely Don't Care About Statues - by Adam Walton

Civil unrest continues today in London and Bristol, where groups of history academics - primarily of Oxford and Cambridge, have gathered to defend statues of great, British heroes who never did anything wrong.

A civil discussion about the intrinsics of history, war and race.

BLM, Black Lives Matter for short, have been participating in largely peaceful protests across the globe in response to the murder of George Floyd. 

However, controversy was sparked in Bristol when a small group of protesters pulled down a statue of Edward Colston - a famous 1600s charity worker and philanthropist, who sometimes dabbled in drowning 19,000 African slaves. 

The statue read: "Felt cute, might delete later"

In response to the pulling down of Colston's statue, history academics flocked to statues in London and Bristol to defend them 'from Antifa'. When the leader of the Antifa organisation was asked if more statues would be targeted, no reply was given as Antifa doesn't actually exist. 

A self-appointed leader of statues and spokesman in London, Judd 'The Geezer' Smith, explained that 'Churchill killed Hitler, and if it wasn't for him, we'd all be speaking German'. This was met with rounds of applause, and Jade Walter commented: "Thank f*ck, anything but German or Spanish, I hated them in school".

Lucozade have denied allegations of sponsoring the event.

Violence soon erupted, and the far-right rioters appeared to take over from the academics by throwing railings and punches at the police they were defending on Twitter just days ago.

Just before these events, we managed to catch up with a few members of the crowd to ask them their opinions on the BLM movement. 

Nazi salutes were also seen to pay respect to Winston Churchill, known supporter of the Nazi party.

Keith Johnson said that he 'thought all lives mattered', but when asked about refugees and liberals, he added 'No, not those lives.'

Rebecca Parkinson M.D said: "If people want to come over to our country and try to erase our history, then they'll have to get through us first." When asked what statue she was currently defending, she shrugged and said it didn't matter.

Lest we forget the great Jimmy Savile

A final comment was given by an illiterate racist who thought Tesco's BLT sandwich is 'PC culture gone mad'. When asked what he thought the 'T' stood for, he simply replied 'Tw*ts'.

Black Lives Tatter?