They claim that "children go to school not ready to learn".
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| Could this be a thing of the past, no thanks to nurseries? |
It was found that when the young human beings left nursery and entered the big world, they couldn't stand on their own two feet.
"We set them on a very basic task once they entered Year 1 at Primary School to find a two-bedroom flat with just a £25,000 budget. Most of them came back with Hot Wheels or Play-Doh hairdressing kits," said first year primary school teacher Ms Edwina Bates. "It's simply unacceptable. What do they teach them at nursery these days?"
"The youth nowadays are simply bad mannered. Is this a society of rebellion?" remarks Jordan Cromroth. "They walk into the classroom sometimes two minutes late and have the cheek to blame it on their mother's car which "broke down". Do their mothers have to wipe their arses too? Get them dressed in a morning?"
Jordan Cromroth had a near-death experience when he was just six, when he left the Earth's atmosphere after getting lost on a family holiday.
Ofsted, UK's favourite organisation that make children all over the country behave for three days have many criteria in which schools are to stick to.
"It's just a challenge really, it's nothing that serious", claims Ofsted's CFO, "Think X Factor crossed with Dragon's Den."
One school in Rotherham was discredited for having a "low amount of ethnic minority" in their school - a tough criteria to match considering ethnic minorities are actually still a minority, despite what the name might suggest.
When asked, Brinsworth Primary School's headmaster said: "It's hard to track down ethnic minorities these days, let alone force them to come to your school. We travelled to Pakistan with taser guns and nets to track down Muslim infants to be a part of our spectacular community, where we strive for good education and top-notch play time. We even offered them Halal meat and a Prayer Room. In the end we were just stoned to death, so we couldn't go ahead with the plan and had to face Ofsted instead."
By 2016, children in Nurseries could face GCSE examination mock exams to mentally prepare them for Primary School, according to one report by the Liberal Democratic party.
"I'm scared, I want my daddy", said one potential victim, Gordon Black, 3.
"My mummy says I'm brave and strong", Cheryl Vice, 4.
However, British PM David Cameron tells the public not to worry too much. "It's the Liberal Democrats. When did they ever have power?"
"It's a tough road ahead for children. But sooner or later, they'll come up to the T Junction before turning the learning curve."
"The youth nowadays are simply bad mannered. Is this a society of rebellion?" remarks Jordan Cromroth. "They walk into the classroom sometimes two minutes late and have the cheek to blame it on their mother's car which "broke down". Do their mothers have to wipe their arses too? Get them dressed in a morning?"
Jordan Cromroth had a near-death experience when he was just six, when he left the Earth's atmosphere after getting lost on a family holiday.
Ofsted, UK's favourite organisation that make children all over the country behave for three days have many criteria in which schools are to stick to.
"It's just a challenge really, it's nothing that serious", claims Ofsted's CFO, "Think X Factor crossed with Dragon's Den."
One school in Rotherham was discredited for having a "low amount of ethnic minority" in their school - a tough criteria to match considering ethnic minorities are actually still a minority, despite what the name might suggest.
When asked, Brinsworth Primary School's headmaster said: "It's hard to track down ethnic minorities these days, let alone force them to come to your school. We travelled to Pakistan with taser guns and nets to track down Muslim infants to be a part of our spectacular community, where we strive for good education and top-notch play time. We even offered them Halal meat and a Prayer Room. In the end we were just stoned to death, so we couldn't go ahead with the plan and had to face Ofsted instead."
By 2016, children in Nurseries could face GCSE examination mock exams to mentally prepare them for Primary School, according to one report by the Liberal Democratic party.
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| Could this be expected of a five year old by 2016? |
"I'm scared, I want my daddy", said one potential victim, Gordon Black, 3.
"My mummy says I'm brave and strong", Cheryl Vice, 4.
However, British PM David Cameron tells the public not to worry too much. "It's the Liberal Democrats. When did they ever have power?"
"It's a tough road ahead for children. But sooner or later, they'll come up to the T Junction before turning the learning curve."
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