David Cameron "the Saviour of the Missing Nigerians?"

"The Nigerians shall be rescued now that I permit it. Just because they're black, it doesn't mean they're different to normal people - Humans are about wealth, not skin colour," David Cameron said this morning.

Trending topics on Twitter are renowned for changing the path of #history as we know it.

More than 200 girls were taken from a school in Nigeria last month. As countries such as America rise up to the challenge of finding these missing girls, Great Britain step in as of today - because they are notorious for saving the day by stepping in to situations that don't concern them.

"I always loved Easter Egg hunts as a child", claims Boris Johnson, Mayor of London. "The colour of the Nigerians' skin resembles that of chocolate and so I'm all for it. I love chocolate. And bikes." Boris Johnson's new book entitled "My Country, My World, My Planet, My Globe, My Universe... My Swag" is due out in August.

David Cameron appeared on BBC One this morning after his make-up artists finished applying Vogue's "Concerned - Summer 2012" to Cameron's face. 

Cameron followed Michelle Obama's footsteps by holding up a "#bringbackourgirls" sheet of A4 paper on live television, with a look of confusion as he took the "our" seriously, and began to question ever having 200 children. 

"I don't remember having 200 children with my wife. I don't even remember my wife's name. But rest assured, people of Britain, that I will bring back my girls."

A day out with the kids.

"I've fetched my daughters back from ice-skating parties before, I'm sure I can give lifts to more of my own daughters for crying out loud!" remarked Dave when questioned whether it's in his power to save these children. 

Chief Defence Secretary "Mad-Dog" was later asked, after David Cameron endorsed the campaign, who was responsible for the missing children.

"It's evident to me that Boko Haram, the Islamic Terrorist group, are the ones responsible for this. They are renowned for this kind of behaviour - and they also admitted to doing it. A video of two Muslims taking responsibility on behalf of a whole terrorist organisation should clearly be trusted and taken seriously."

Boko Haram is an Islamic Terrorist group which believes the education of women is bad, because women should just get married, have children and then die. What makes this different to the rest of Islam is the name "Boko Haram". 

When questioned where the children might be, David Cameron replied: "They are probably in this deep area of jungle that is three times the size of Wales." He was then asked what he will do personally for the cause. "I won't be going into any jungle because I don't like the Welsh and the humidity makes my hair go all poofy. But I did hold up a sheet of A4 paper."

"The more America keeps creating these terrorist groups and blaming them for things, the less likely I will take my children to Disney World", a recent survey suggested in Canklow.

"Islam is a religion of peace. Islam even translates as "peace". But as long as certain individuals keep taking the Qu'ran literally, word for word, extremism will exist," Sarah Mrandenporté explained. 

"Boko Haram are obviously idiots", stated one member of the public whose opinion we show on this news page to make the public feel like they actually have an opinion worth listening to. "They're basically saying: "Women don't need education. We didn't have education and we turned out alright so you don't need it - or get in the van." 

The BNP were asked for their opinions on the issue - oh, wait, they weren't.

Children in the US were entered in a survey following the recent incident of the missing Nigerian Children. Those who subscribed to email newsletters and updates were entered into a draw to win an iPad. 

67% of children said "Yes" whereas the other 67% said "Ben Kingsley". 

Ex-drummer of Blackened Eyes has nothing to do with this. At all.

David Cameron also added: "The British thought their education system was bad - at least when you learn about Pythagoras you don't get sold into slavery!"

"We will find these children. With the twisted mind frames in which the Muslims we're dealing with have, it's quite likely that we may find some of the children dead. However, it is more likely that the children will have been sold into slavery after female genital mutilation has performed upon them. We will find them, we will help them, and we will bring justice to these criminals."

The families of the missing children are deeply upset. The average daily tears cried are 23.4 per family member. 

Does David Cameron really want to stop their tears, to bring justice and to save the girls? Or does he just want credit for being a part of something he knows nothing about? 

"First the Malaysian Airline, now these children. It's evident to me that there's a link. Both have gone missing, the children were stolen by Muslims, therefore it is evident to us that the plane was stolen by Muslims too!" claimed Mary Chapel from The Sun. 

"It happened in 2001 when a group of Muslims, armed with box cutters, hijacked 4 planes and directed them on an extremely complex flight path in order to cause terror without interception from the American government. Who's to say it wasn't them with the Malaysian Airliner?"

"Muslims invented death!" claims one expert.

Does Islamophobia exist because the social media exaggerate it? Or does social media show Islam related terrors because they're terrors and this is news, and shouldn't not be shown just because the group of thugs were Muslims? 

The majority of white-British individuals voted 10/10 but coconuts are against Pharmacies in Scotland. The coconuts face hearings next week due to "Strategic Racism".

Phrak, Nina and their three children campaigned against pharmacies in Scotland last month to promote Islamophobia.