Children Win Vote to Sing with Eyes Shut

Parliament members this afternoon decided to allow children to have the right to vocalise with their eyes shut as of 2016, with a 67% "Yes" vote beating a 49% "No" vote.

Kelly, now 19, is seen fighting a dragon that is blue.

The matter was first taken to Parliament in 2003 when a young girl of 3 was caught singing a hymn at a Church of England school with her eyes shut. The headmaster claimed:

 "Her eyes were definitely not open, which, in my books, is the opposite of being open."

Parents and people with children alike campaigned outside the school for three days when a decision was made to burn the infant who: "Should've known better", claimed Chief Minister of Music Rights.

The school compromised with the raging campaigners and instead decided to release the girl into a controlled predator environment, a place in which predators roam freely around artificial trees and are fed fresh meat every three to two hours.

"If she survives the task for three days then we'll let her out. If not, then we'll just skip the 3pm feeding. If she pretends to be a tree she'll be fine."

Kelly Fremont (8), a friend of the young child who survived the bears, took the matter to court and then to parliament, stating: "It's simply naughty. What that school did was wrong, and I shan't be attending any longer. Besides, SATs are pointless anyway, am I right?" The young female originally added the quote: "Hashtag YOLO" to the end of her statement, but we had to remove it due to copyright purposes.

Fremont was first declined her petition to ban the execution of children who sang with their eyes shut, as it was claimed that: "She's too young, and I think she might be a lesbian." 

However, due to a popularisation of the matter on social media sites such as Twitter, with trending topics such as #eyeswideshut and #eyelidsarethereforareasontoprotectyoureyesfromdustsosingifyouwantwithyoureyescloseditshealthy, the topic was re-evaluated and was welcomed back to parliament in the winter of 2013.

At first, the votes were tied at 40% each, as PM David Cameron put forward a strong argument saying:

"If we don't burn them now, they will breed, and we don't want UKIP to win, do we?"

Arguing the opposite however was Nigel Farrage who allowed young boy "Curtis Jon" to sing the full version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" with his eyes shut, and whilst holding a mouldy banana. 

In the end, the children came out victorious, winning the right of children everywhere to sing with their eyes in whatever position they desire.

"It's a real victory," claimed Kelly, with her eyes open.

Hypocrite.