PM David Cameron to go on Strike after Walkers Crisp Scandal

David Cameron, leader of the Conservative party, has announced today that he will be going on strike as of 15:07 tomorrow due to a misunderstanding with a packet of "Distinctively Salt & Vinegar" Walkers crisps last night, sometime after moon-rise.

Could a packet of these be the reason for our country to submerge into chaos? Or have they even saved us?

Although David Cameron hasn't said anything to the press as of yet, some of his close colleagues were around him at the time of his "immense mood swing". 

"It was like a swing at a park. Except it wasn't made out of plastic or metal, but David Cameron's pure emotion and inner strife." 

His mother even made a statement that involved sentences such as: "He's incredibly deep, like water when there's a lot of it, what you see on TV is just some utter moron pretending he knows how to run a country, but what he's like in real life is - well, much the same thing."

A friend of the PM was with him at the time of the purchasing of the popular brand of crisps. 

"It was frightening. Someone usually quite laid-back and uncaring just turned into some sort of demon and threatened to have the country blown up."

When asked what caused it, Frederick Parry (who has asked to be left unnamed for privacy), stated:

"The packet was half empty when he opened it. To be fair, who hasn't threatened to blow up the country, or to kill an 8-month pregnant Muslim who's converted to a Christian, when they've spent 90p on a half empty packet of crisps?"

"They will pay. Each and every one of them. They WILL pay."

Riots are expected to take place outside both the Houses of Parliament and a Walkers Crisp factory in Leicester. A group has been formed on popular social media site Bebo organising the event.

"We feel it's necessary because where's the apostrophe in 'Walkers'?"

The group on Bebo so far has 231 participants, whereas the group on Facebook, heading for the Houses of Parliament, has 459 members. 

Sam 'hardcore' Peterson, the founder of the group, stated:

"Yeah we gonna go down there yeah and totally start some proper pits yeah got mi mates band to go down and tear **** apart with his proper sick beatdowns which is pure aggression so we can elbow people and dance like we're mentally ill people having electric shocks. Get pumped for it 'cause we're totally pumped for it."

It is expected that Sam will be deported from Britain because of his bad grammar, and for being a "complete d*ck", according to everyone else not in that particular social group in Britain. 

"I hope he gets beaten up with a pretend telephone" - Sarah, 6.

"I'd grab that 'hardcore' kid's head and drown him in a pile of salty crisps so his eyes sting, his nostrils burn, and his lungs explode."

However, Gary Lineker, who we can only presume is the manager of Walkers Crisps, stated:

"We are not afraid of the riots or protests. We at Walkers will stand tall, and we could probably drown them in England's best, freshly, hand-picked, most succulent potatoes, if we wanted to. Which we do."

We asked members of the public to send in their tweets on the matter.

UPDATE

David Cameron, not long after the above tweets and thousands more were posted, finally made a public statement via Social Media site Twitter. It seems to imply that he is racist, homophobic, and is therefore 'obviously' a member of UKIP.

"What a precise and crisp choice of words".

"PM PM means Premenstrual Prime Minister."