Panic arose in the early morning of last Tuesday when Sidney's keeper, Nelson Mort, went to feed Sidney as per his usual daily routine, but couldn't because the elephant was actually still there.
Nelson stated: "I grabbed the bucket of fish and headed round to Sidney's cage to feed him, and suddenly, all of a sudden, right at that moment, to my surprise, on this immediate occasion, Sidney was there! I called the cops immediately!'
Nelson rang the police at 6:61am, six minutes after he claimed the elephant wasn't missing, leading conspirators to believe it was Nelson who didn't steal Sidney.
"Why would I not steal Sidney? He's the bestest four legs I ever seen!"
Protests to lose the popular elephant were held outside the zoo all morning.
"The elephant isn't lost, and it's wrong. How did they allow this to happen?"
Boards held high above proud, American heads today read from things such as:
"An animal not let loose into public letting it kill people is inhumane!"
"Misplace the elephant or we'll be defiant!"
To the more bizarre such as:
"Ice cream just $1.49!"
Head Zookeeper Zadante Minawii can be badly quoted, with no evidence that he actually said this but you'll believe it anyway, saying:
"Nelson will be fired as soon as I see his black ass. He had one job: to look after the elephant, and what does he go and do? Not lose it! San Diego Zoo would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused by Sidney the elephant not running wild around the city."
Many recall 2011's incident where a Macaw parrot didnt fly away to escape the zoo.
"Finder's keeper's, and in this case the keeper was a finder and by finding the found, he was found to not be keeping his job anymore."
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